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Innocuous, isn’t he? It looks like a vacation photo where he’s spent a little to long on the beach, but otherwise a normal, happy, well adjust guy. A picture speaks a thousand words, they say.

In this case they’re all lies.

This guy’s a psycho. Not the axe wielding sort, not the sort that makes the nine o’clock news for all the wrong reasons, the sort that looks at something that has certain death written all over it and thinks “that could be fun.”

Only in his case he takes “could” to “would.”

Dirk Auer is a German adrenaline freak. He holds a number of records for doing things on skates that can only be called, well, stupid. I mean, who would want to hold onto the back of a Porsche doing 190mph? Who would want to repeat the trick with a bit more acceleration? Say, holding onto the back of a dragster and accelerating to 160mph in around 10 seconds? How about strapping a couple of jet engines on your back and racing an Aston Martin?

If you fancy repeating the Aston Martin trick, the engines are built in Germany, but they’re available over here for a mere three grand. According to the Jetcat, the makers website, about a million and a half people have looked into buying these things, so watch out on the roads for hundred mile an hour skating madmen and women.

I’m sure Dirk has a sleeve full of tricks to come, but the last one I’m going to point out is his wooden roller coaster ride. I’d just sit in the car and hold on, but Dirk strapped on a pair of skates that secured him to the track, grabbed two small poles for balance and whipped round a track in Stuttgart (video). 60mph, 3g and 1000 yards in less than a minute. Here’s a visual of what those numbers mean (he’s the small dot towards the top).

The staggering thing about this whole deal is summed up by this picture.

Do you see it? As @%$#&! scared as I would be, this guy was grinning like a clown. He was enjoying it! After the event he described the ride as “fun.” He doesn’t hold back, doesn’t cringe in fear, doesn’t worry about his life insurance premiums, he just throws himself into it. I’m in awe of the guy to start with, but someone who can grin in the face of such danger? I’m out of smart remarks.

He really wanted to do that stunt. Not “thought he’d have a go,” but flat out wasn’t going to stop until he’d done it. He proves the point that we do best what we want to do. And if I had realized that a long time ago I wonder what I’d be doing now.

What about you?


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