Innocuous, isn’t he? It looks like a vacation photo where he’s spent a little to long on the beach, but otherwise a normal, happy, well adjust guy. A picture speaks a thousand words, they say.
In this case they’re all lies.
This guy’s a psycho. Not the axe wielding sort, not the sort that makes the nine o’clock news for all the wrong reasons, the sort that looks at something that has certain death written all over it and thinks “that could be fun.”
Only in his case he takes “could” to “would.”
Dirk Auer is a German adrenaline freak. He holds a number of records for doing things on skates that can only be called, well, stupid. I mean, who would want to hold onto the back of a Porsche doing 190mph? Who would want to repeat the trick with a bit more acceleration? Say, holding onto the back of a dragster and accelerating to 160mph in around 10 seconds? How about strapping a couple of jet engines on your back and racing an Aston Martin?
If you fancy repeating the Aston Martin trick, the engines are built in Germany, but they’re available over here for a mere three grand. According to the Jetcat, the makers website, about a million and a half people have looked into buying these things, so watch out on the roads for hundred mile an hour skating madmen and women.
I’m sure Dirk has a sleeve full of tricks to come, but the last one I’m going to point out is his wooden roller coaster ride. I’d just sit in the car and hold on, but Dirk strapped on a pair of skates that secured him to the track, grabbed two small poles for balance and whipped round a track in Stuttgart (video). 60mph, 3g and 1000 yards in less than a minute. Here’s a visual of what those numbers mean (he’s the small dot towards the top).
The staggering thing about this whole deal is summed up by this picture.
Do you see it? As @%$#&! scared as I would be, this guy was grinning like a clown. He was enjoying it! After the event he described the ride as “fun.” He doesn’t hold back, doesn’t cringe in fear, doesn’t worry about his life insurance premiums, he just throws himself into it. I’m in awe of the guy to start with, but someone who can grin in the face of such danger? I’m out of smart remarks.
He really wanted to do that stunt. Not “thought he’d have a go,” but flat out wasn’t going to stop until he’d done it. He proves the point that we do best what we want to do. And if I had realized that a long time ago I wonder what I’d be doing now.
What about you?
Good morning, Nigel!
Where would I be if I’d done what I dreamed, and hadn’t held back?
Wow! A perfect topic for a brain still foggy from sleep, and incapable of both filtering and typing.
I would be a syndicated humor columnist. With a finished book that is my current WIP. I would have my MG series revised, and my dusty first ms well into the final stages of rewrite.
I would know how to tap dance (and, ignore that I’m three feet taller than the other students). I would have broken one stupid law in each state I visited while traveling. (Walk backward past a vendor: Illinois, I think.)
The list goes on…
And, I would have put inner editor (Gracie) on a cruise ship round the world while I accomplished aforementioned tasks.
Sending the challenge boinging back to you, my friend! Where would you be if you hadn’t held back? Or, did you never hold back?
Morning, Gloria. Boy, you’re up and internet connected early!
Learning to tap dance is always possible, my girl will teach you 🙂 I believe the IRS can also help.
Breaking stupid laws is a good one. There’s a canton in Switzerland where its illegal to pee standing up after 10pm. We used to have fun breaking that one. I remember being in a bar when a call of “last chance to pee legally” went round. Those weren’t the exact words, of course, but this is blog isn’t rated.
What would I do? Without constraints I’m sure I would have ended up a drooling drug addict. Fortunately there were constraints and I made it few those formative first forty years, kind of 🙂
I alway wanted to live in a ski town. A proper ski town, at the bottom of the slopes, like Val d’Isere or Meribel or Kitzbuhel. I even put off the idea of writing because it was just stupid to write on paper, I mean I was always changing my mind and crossing things out. Talk about being held back by stupidity, eh? Mind you, there are plenty wishing my stupidity was physically restrained these days.
Have a good day – there’s plenty of it left!
I’ve felt that grin on my own face once or twice. Once going up the scree slope on my dirt bike; again coming down when the brakes failed. Though in my case, I think the correct description would be “rictus of terror” rather than “grin”.
Still, though, I’m glad I did it. Bragging rights, you know… 🙂 And nobody got hurt, so I’m going to call it a success.
LOL. “rictus of terror” … yeah, that would be me! Glad to hear no-one was hurt, that is usually the yardstick I use for success 🙂 Any pictures?
Rictus, what a great word. I’m off to find somewhere I can use it – in polite conversation, of course!
I’m not sharing this post with my younger son. He has too much of the adventurer in him as it is. He thought I was being impossibly “overprotective” when I declined to let him drive us to the store. He was still three and he was sure he could talk me into it because he knows he has more IQ than I do and doesn’t hesitate to work me over with it.
I’m not sharing this post with my younger son. He has too much of the adventurer in him as it is. He thought I was being impossibly “overprotective” when I declined to let him drive us to the store. He was still not quite four years old and he was sure he could talk me into it because he knows he has more IQ than I do and doesn’t hesitate to work me over with it.
Ha. You know the french start kids in ski school at 3? It’s flat out embarrassing as they pan by on a black run, but they do turn out good skiers. Maybe you should have let him drive, you never know what he might have become. But since you comments in past tense I suspect you may have a good idea about that now.