Ok, I’m still fast drafting. As you might have guessed, there are more drafts than drafting, and the Oxford English Dictionary wrote to me recently to inform me that “fast” is just embarrassed to be associated with my name. I can understand how it feels, the end is near, but I’m not sure if that applies to me or my WIP.
I’m sure you’re all asking what’s taking me so long. You’re in good company, my family has been saying the same. I used to think that it wasn’t the words that were difficult, it was getting them in the right order. But after reading a recent email I’m beginning to wonder. For example,
The farm used to produce produce.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
It was a good time to present the present.
He had to project the project in the best light
A bass was painted on the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object
The insurance was invalid for the invalid
A bandage was wound around the wound.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
The sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line. (ok, ok, how else are you going to connect those two in one sentence…)
You cannot teach a sow to sow seeds.
The wind was too strong to wind up the sail.
After a number of injections, my jaw got number.
The girl shed a tear when she saw the tear in her clothes.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
The soldiers threw out any round that wasn’t perfectly round.
Despite these frustrating nuances, which are what makes language an art, when I’m done fast drafting I’ll get back to some more usual posts. I hope to be finished on the second Sunday this week.
Or possibly the third.
PS the image at the top is a Welsh town on the island of Anglesey. The hyphenated words underneath are how its pronounced. I went there when I was young and believe it may have led to my seriously bad spelling.
Eye knead two right fast to, Nigel. Sew, no eye share ewe’re pane.
That’s brilliant, Gloria. I’m sure Diane could tell you what grammatical devices you’ve used, but I’m just going to give you a big smiley 😀
I think that broke my brain. Great post! 🙂
Sorry about that Rainy. I promise not to tie you in knots anymore.
Stop! Make it stop…
My brain exploded when I saw the sign, and your followup finished the job when I had to go and look up homonyms. Just so you know, your examples include homonyms, homophones, homographs, heterographs, heteronyms, polysemes and capitonyms.
Now it’s going to take me all morning to clean the walls, dang it.
P.S. Keep kickin’ that WIP, Nigel! 🙂
I’m well impressed by your knowledge of nyms, graphs, semes and all the rest. Hope the walls came clean.
The WIP and I are kicking each other at the moment. I’m getting near the end, but its getting less and less funny. Never mind, kicking will turn to wrestling in revisions, and I’ll throw my weight about (please ignore my WIP as it breaks down in fits of laughter).
Yay, Nigel’s back!
I am not asking you what’s taking so long with your WIP. Rome weren’t built in a day.
That Welsh sign is amazing. I’ve always marveled at the Welsh language in general, so many L’s, Y’s and W’s, and it bears absolutely no resemblance to any sort of Gaelic, English, or anything else I’ve ever seen.
And the examples you provide here remind me of how zany English is. Gloriously zany, but zany nonetheless.
Hi Weebley one.
Thanks for the patience while I drop out of civilized (blogging) society. Normal service will be resumed as soon as we’ve figured out what’s normal around here.
My parents were born in Wales and I still have family there. We go back to visit every year or two. You’re spot on with the overuse of L’s and F’s and everything else. My parents were born in Aberystwyth (not to bad to pronounce), but I have relatives in Swyddffnnon, Ystrad Meurig. I write to them, but I could never ask anyone for directions for fear of breaking my jaw or something.
PS I’m still having skin crawling nightmares things with holes in them – thanks for reminding me of that one.
I actually know how to pronounce Aberystwyth! But yeah, I’d be hopelessly stuck on trying to pronounce the other locations you mentioned. Some of the place names in Pennsylvania are similarly challenging because of the Welsh who originally settled there—Bala Cynwyd, Bryn Mawr, Tredyffrin, Uwchlan, etc.
So is Blackwell a Welsh surname then?
Sorry about the holes thing—if it’s any consolation, I saw Prometheus yesterday and there was one scene that made me almost jump out of my skin.
Actually that’s probably not a consolation, now that I think about it.
Hi Weeble one
Aberystwyth! I’m impressed. I go back there every couple of years so I get to refresh my memory of some of those names. I had no clue there were so many Welsh names in Pennsylvania. I know very little about my family tree but I believe my family were originally English from around Crewe.
Ye gods woman, Prometheus. No. No. No. I shan’t be seeing that one. My skin crawls reading the plot, let alone seeing anything. Brrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhh. You have my unreserved admiration for taking that one on!
By the way, I spy another photo, brilliantly posed with what I suspect is a clue piece? Are we due for a clue series?
I replied on my blog too but you’ve inspired me to do a Clue series now. The axe isn’t a Clue piece but I think I’m going to have to dust off my old Clue game and get cracking. Thank you!!
I don’t know much about Crewe although I’ve heard of it. My own English antecedents are from somewhere in Yorkshire. Some sort of moor people or dale people.
Go see Brave with your daughter, I suspect that doesn’t have any offending visuals in it! 🙂
My parents found themselves in the town of Llanggollyn (I think) one time years ago. I’m not sure where they had lost themselves, but anyway, they told me the name of the town was pronounced Klang-gock-lyn. Go figure.
I’ve invented a new form of writing called slow-draft. It’s almost as useful as your write-only-memory invention.
Yes, Llangollen is pretty much pronounced as you wrote. It’s kind of split between farming and arty festivals. Its a nice place. They roll the sidewalks up at 5:30 (except those that lead to the pubs, of course).
Slow-drafting? Well, any drafting is better than no-drafting!
Do you have a link to your book?
Wowza, this reminds me of an old Gallagher routined where he talks about learning how to pronounce certain english words such as comb, bomb and tomb. Is it good food or good food?
Great post, and it’s been a blast fast drafting with you!
Opps, Askimet classified your email as spam! I rarely check my spam folder. Sorry about that.
Glad you liked the english, and yes, fast drafting was fun and a great learning experience. I might even do my second draft of my book that way before I settle down to edit it in detail.
Nigel, you clever lad. No wonder it is said that English is–in spite of your post title–the most difficult to learn.
Which begs the question, if I masters this language first, why haven’t I yet mastered a second?
I especially get a kick out of speaking to someone from Britain or Australia, when at times it seems we are not speaking the same language.
You bring up a good point Sherry. I think I’ve struggled so hard to learn english that I don’t have any brain cells left available to learn another language. Well, apart from “beer”, that seems to work in any country.
When I was in third grade I told the nuns that my spelling wasn’t bad, It was just that the rest of the nation had yet to understand my improved spelling rules. I’m glad I spoke Spanish at home before I learned English. I knew English was all wrong and that there was an easier way to do it.
Yes, a lot of people never came to appreciate my spelling either. Wouldn’t it have made things so much easier if they’d just tried a little harder?
I was encouraged to take Spanish in High school because it would be easier (the teachers having already figured out I had little hope). Unfortunately the French teacher was better looking! Now I can’t speak either without people questioning my sanity or laughing. Damn testosterone.
That Welsh sign is a real tongue twister.
I loved the repeated word sentences. I’m glad Diane Henderson saved me the trouble of googling what they are called 😉
Good luck with the fast draft.
Yeah, Welsh names take some getting used to. I grew up hearing people pronounce them, but when I see them written down I still get tongue-tied.
Nigel, my head is still spinning with all the homophones, etc. Yikes!
Yet, you Rocked the Fast Draft dude! I don’t know what you’re talking about. You wrote a lot of words, sentences, scenes, chapters. Well a lot of something anyway. It was fun! 🙂
LOL – “a lot of something” – yep, that pretty much describes it 🙂 My fast drafting continues and I hope to finish Sunday. It’ll be crap mind you, but its been great to get it all down so I can see what to try to do to create a better rewrite. It has been fun and rewarding.
I know you had other distractions, but how did yours work out?