Ok, I’ll fess up. I don’t have a blog post for today, but , like all good 21st century movie stars caught in embarrassing situations, I have an excuse. Not that I’m a movie star, you understand, or even a fully paid up member of the 21st century really, but an excuse is an excuse, so here’s mine.
I’m up to my ears writing 4k words a day for two weeks to create a fast draft of a novel. So in lieu of my babbling on in this post, I’m going to give you something – five minutes of your life back. In fact, if you’re a slow reader, you can have ten minutes back. How’s that for a bargain?
In the time you’d normally spend reading my blog you can go off and do something. Make coffee. Plant a tree. Wash the dishes. Jump about in the garden. Discover the meaning of life. Discover the meaning for the existence of Snookie. Make a list of things that need to be discovered. Call Parachutes-r-us and book a lesson. Fiercely deny the existence of waffles. Scare the daylights out of the person next to you on the subway by talking to them. Marry the love of your life (though don’t blame me if you haven’t done any prior planning on that one).
Then when you’ve used up all your bonus minutes, come back and tell us what life you managed to squeeze out of your extra existence. We’re, um, living to know?
Go get ’em, Nigel!
I opened my WIP. And, leave you to yours while I spend five minutes duct taping the mouth of my inner editor.
LOL. My inner editor and all the other voices in my head have had a shouting match for the past week!
Keep up the P in your WIP! (even though that sounds dubious 🙂 )
Goodness, Nigel! Thought you were going to blame the lack of a post on a wardrobe malfunction!
Hm. What to spend my bonus five minutes on? I’ll take a combo, please, and jump about in the garden while denying the existence of waffles. Fiercely. If I I’d lost my marbles, or if I had more trees, I’d do so nekked.
I guess if you’re going to jump around in the garden nakked, I can hardly use a wardrobe malfunction as an excuse not to post, can I?
Just out of interest, how many more trees are needed?
Who cares how many trees? Where’s the garden?
Note to self: Insincere comments meant only to inspire chortles can get one into trouble.
Which one of you is the one going to get into trouble, I wonder.
Hope you’re kickin’ your 4k, Nigel! Denying the existence of waffles is a heresy, so I’m going to go with booking a lesson for Snooki at Parachutes-R-Us.
In the adverts: Parachute for sale. Used once. Small stain.
Oh yes, there’s some 4k kicking going on. Mainly in the direction from it to me, but at least it’s something.
We cracked up in the office today reading your advert. Very good 🙂
Your “I’m edible” post is absolutely great. I had no clue how you were going to avoid all those cliches, and you did! Brilliant.
I may have misunderstood the instructions. I discovered the meaning of parachutes, washed a tree and jumped up and down on the dishes. Did I screw this up?
It sounds like you used every moment of your five minutes. Tell me, how are the dishes?
I spent a minute reading & laughing with David’s comment. A couple of minutes spent scratching my head, trying to figure this out and then discovering that it’s beyond my imagination :P. Spent the last couple of minutes, up to 5, trying to compose an uber-smart comment. Failed. There you go.
Uber-smart comment – failed? Nah, I think “No” was pretty classic.
If you’d like another go, just don’t re-read my post and comment anyway. That way you get another 5 mins. Easy.
I invested the time in working on cleaning out my work shop.
Blimey. I think I’d have to invest not reading a whole book to clean out our garage (since its the closest I have to a workshop)
Ha! The best post I (sort of) never read. 😉 Time is a precious commodity, Nigel. Your posts are worth the minutes, this one included. So, I read it reeeeeallly slowly. Took me like 3.5 hours! 😉
Happy fast-drafting! Must be tough managing the cheering AND the writing. A how-to post on that would be much appreciated.
Hi August, glad you made the most of the time 🙂
Cheering and writing is tough, the sequins are sooooo itchy.
4k a day, that’s impressive! I salute you, sir.
Meanwhile you raise a very interesting issue regarding the time required to post, read, and comment. Personally, I have no interest in pondering the existence of Snooki (the *end* of the existence of Snooki, maybe), or denying the existence of waffles–especially if they have ice cream on them. But your point is well taken and you’re quite thoughtful to give us time to do other things.
So in your honor, I’m going to take the next five minutes to brew another cup of coffee.
Good luck with the writing!
Hi Madame Weebles
4k a day would be really impressive. I’m a little below that at 30k in 8 days, but it’s the weekend, so I hope to catch up. That said many of those k aren’t going to see the light of day …
I don’t really want to deny the existence of waffles, or ice cream, but waffles and ice cream? Burrrrr. I much prefer honey on my waffles. Wednesday is waffle day in our house, and when my act is together enough, with coffee!
Hope your extra cup was good 🙂
Fabulous! I hope you are pumping out some amazing words! I, too, took my time reading your post. It made me smile. I’d like to say I am making amazing strides on my WIP, but I am actually spending tremendous quality time with my precious little ones. Even now, as I write this.
I got all choked up with laughter with David’s responses. He cracks me up! What a fantastic visual that simple statement created! LOL.
BTW, Thor tagged you in this week’s post for your creative idea from last week. Thought you’d like to know.
Hi Debra. The words are going fine, it’s the order that’s problematic. But words are words and I thought I’d try a different approach for a change.
I hadn’t noticed the Thor mention, I’m ashamed to say. I’ve been trying to avoid FB, twitter, blogs etc to focus on my writing (one more week to go). This weeks story/photos were really good though. It’s a great format with the mixture of words and images.