VW have brought out a new car in Europe. They might bring it out in the USA as well. It’s a small car, and I like small cars, but as good as this one is supposed to be it has one, lets be kind and call it remarkable, feature – it’s called the Up! Yep, the exclamation mark really is part of the name. Actually it’s a good thing they included the emphasis because the thing looks very euro-blob like. Without a title under the picture you could mistake the car for a Polo or Golf. VW however, is capitalizing (sorry) on it’s naming strategy. For example, in Europe the car is available in various trim levels called the
- Take up!
- Move up!
- High up!
- Up! black
- Up! white
Now, I’m sure you can see where this is going. There must be no end of suitable, and not so suitable, possibilities for model variants, for example
- Two Up! – the 2 seat version
- Stuff Up! – comes in the color you hate, but the one you find you accidentally ticked on the order form.
- Sun Up! – the convertible version
- Full Up! – comes complete with a car load of empty fast food boxes
- Speed Up! – the turbocharged version (no jokes about its 3 cylinder, 1.0L engine at this point, please)
- Chin Up! – for the British market only. Comes with a brolly, British Rail sandwich, and a sticker on the dashboard saying “Keep calm and carry on.”
Is there a special version you’d like to see VW create?
Cheers (Up)!
Image courtesy of:
| © M 93 / Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY-SA-3.0 (DE) |
Gosh, this has stumped me.
And I’m not easily stumped as you well know. But this model isn’t inspiring me. Hmm. I think it’s because this car would be invisible. It doesn’t have the balls of your other cars, especially on the banner where they’re sexy and hunky and funky.
Nope. I’ve tried and I can’t come ‘up’ with anything hilarious or interesting. Probably because I don’t care about what VW come up with.
Nigel, I’ve failed you. I suppose you could call me a F*** up. Nope, that won’t work either.
Sliding out now and hanging my head in shame.
Hi CC. Yes, it wasn’t the easiest of phrases, and I had to think had not to use the f- one!
Cheers!
… or there could be the “e up! lad” for sale in the north?
As a devotee of large American cars – none of which have been made for a decade or two now – my main reaction to cars like this is Shut Up! (Not you, Nigel – them)
Like it. The shut up! could come with an extra layer of insulation to block out the thumping bass from the car behind you at the stoplights.
Cheers!
Hehe, my thinking’s on the same line as Mr. Walker’s – first idea: the S-T-F-Up!, which comes with an automatic duct-tape dispenser for the mouths of unruly kids in the back seat. Or perhaps the Hurry Up! – with a plow to push the slow-poke in front – if it could ever come to that. LOL!
Hi Jennette
A plow on the Hurry Up! sounds brilliant. There are plenty of trucks that wander around Texas with similar bull-bars. Of course, most of them only go down to Target and back, but they could be pretty useful when faced with a mobile phone wielding idiot doing 45mph as he straddles the white line between the middle and fast lanes.
Cheers!
You had me laughing a few times here, Nigel. The “euro-blob” was the first one. And the turbocharged version with the V3. But the Chin Up! with the British Rail sandwich is the grand finale for sure.
You sound like you experienced the dubious delights of BRs culinary skills! BTW that said culinary not cardboard, but the latter would have been more truthful 😉
Cheers!
I have indeed—but to be fair, the tea I had on BR was not the worst I’ve ever had.
LOL. I think the tea wasn’t so bad because the employees spent a lot of time drinking it too!
3-cylinder 1-litre? Does that come with a gerbil wheel for extra turbo boost? Or am I thinking of the Whip Up! (as in “whip those gerbils”…)?
…oh, and your title had me laughing before I even started reading the article… 🙂
Hi Diane
Hummmm. VW might have to be careful in case “gerbil whipping” is an offense in some states!
Glad you liked the title. Perhaps if I don’t have anything for Thursday I might just post a snappy title 🙂
Cheers!