If you’ve ever walked into the children’s section of a bookstore in the past twenty years, you’ll have noticed If You Give A Mouse A Cookie by Laura Numeroff. It’s a fun book that has spawned all manner of similar titles. After reading it, you have to wonder about the wisdom of giving anyone a cookie. But my story doesn’t start in a bookstore, it started on December 25th.
This Christmas I gave my daughter and someone else (who will remain nameless) an iPhone. My daughter already had an iPod, so the iPhone was an easy switch. Backup, activate and restore, no problem. Within minutes she was playing the iPhonium like a professional.
Someone else was equally excited with their new toy, but all they wanted to be able to do was have the number keypad visible so they could make calls. The didn’t want to know anything else about the many other fruity wonders. Nope, just the keypad would do.
That was the first night.
The next night someone wanted to know how to send text messages. Easy, but better if you fill in the address book. Fortunately, my daughter has quick thumbs because the numbers couldn’t be copied across automatically, and $5 later, someone was text messaging with the best of them. But that was definitely it. Someone didn’t want to know anything else. Phone calls and text messages were it.
The second evening, someone want to redeem their iTunes gift card and load music onto their phone-calls-and-text-message-is-it phone. Music was the only extra someone wanted. That was enough. Well, music and the weather. Oh yes, how about the weather in half a dozen cities across the globe. But then, that was it, it, it. There was nothing else in the world someone could want to do with a phone. Nothing, nothing, nothing.
The third night someone’s iPhone was on charge as soon as I got home. Lurking innocently underneath was a list. Of movies. Just movies, mind you. Well, movies and a TV show. But just one show. Someone doesn’t want to overdo things. A while encoding and downloading, and the movies were in place. Ready to go. Oh yeah, and the TV show, too.
The next morning it was alarms. Multiple alarms. In different times zones. With different alarm sounds. All individually enabled and disabled. I mean, everyone expects a phone to be able to do that, right?
The fourth night was spent on the video camera and editing footage. Stabilization and lighting took a while to master, but Spielberg was going to be calling soon, for sure. There was some disappointment that adding titles and scene transitions required an additional app. Oh, and it’s not HD? Shame. Thinking of shame, what about wireless backup? Offsite? Yeah, it only makes sense. Really.
On the fifth day I got a call. Despite the throbbing technology, the array of apps, and the creative genius behind what was bound to be the next Hollywood blockbuster, someone had forgotten how to send a text …
It was at this point I wondered if I would ever be able to face a cookie again.
How about you? Ever fed cookies to a mouse? Even you favorite mouse?
PS Any likeness to persons I might possibly know are purely coincidental. Ish.
Hilarious! My kids are always telling me how much their phones will do. By now, they could be hacking into Russian spy agencies for all know. (I bet there’s an app for that.) I pretty much call, text, and check social media. The calculator is nice too.
Hi Julie. Glad you liked it. I’m a big fan of the calculator on my phone. But then I’m just a big fan of calculators all round. Sorry 🙂
Are you sure you’re not married to me??? I’m the pits with new technology. When I first had my iPhone 4 (I was a Blackberry girl – no idea why) I’d no idea why the thing wasn’t ringing. We were having a coffee in Sainsburys and I handed it to my daughter (who also has one) and she couldn’t work out why it wasn’t ringing. So I phoned H and he was scratching his head because everything was turned on – the phone said, maybe there was a problem with it.
The security guard at Sainsburys was walking past and heard me bemoaning the ‘bloody thing’ and he took it from me and switched on the volume button off mute on the left hand side.
There you go. The simplest thing and we’d no idea.
I use it for texting, calling, email etc and that’s it.
Married to you???!!! Well, now that could explain some things. You didn’t by any chance go shopping for tomatoes and come back with a chaise lounge did you? Someone did, a new one appeared in my daughters bedroom.
I have a blackberry. It’s a spiteful thing. When you type a letter, the keyboard chooses how many will actually turn up (somewhere between 0 and 8). On the plus side, I’m a wizz with the backspace key.
I like the switch to mute the iPhone, but I’d agree its not obvious once you’ve done it. One switch is a lot easier than the blackberry’s sequence of unlock, enter password, scroll to speaker icon, click, scroll to chosen option, click, and then press the lock button again. That probably explains why lots of people don’t bother in the cinema!
A few years ago I upgraded to a phone, no*i*, just phone, with a keypad, and, to my offspring’s glee, was initiated into the world of texting. Now they’re after me to upgrade again.
You can check your email, Mom. (I work from home, in front of my computer all day. Email is open–like I need another distraction.)
You can take pictures, Mom. (Then what would I do with my funky dunky camera?)
You can watch movies, Mom. (On that tiny screen? Bad enough my hearing’s going. Let’s save the eyesight, please.)
I have to agree that the screens are pretty small, but I’m used to removing my glasses and reading things at a distance of five inches anyway! Mind you I love not being tied to a computer to check email, FB, WP, etc, etc.
Ha, with or without glasses, I can see an upgrade in your future – esp if you kids have anything to do with it.
Just goes to show – never say never, especially with phones and technology! I am not an early adopter but I’m usually not terribly far behind. I’ve had Palm Pilots before they were the “thing” to have, moved to a smart phone once Motorola came out with the Razr, then quickly evolved into smart phones. But I had no idea what a smart phone was truly capable of until I got my iPhone in 2010. When they say “there’s an app for that” they’re not kidding. I just wish it could wash the dishes and do laundry – who knows, maybe one day it will?
Great post and I love reading that book to Libby. The whole series is fun! Give A Pig a Pancake is another fav in our household as is Moose a Muffin.
I’m not sure if there is an app to actually do the dishes, but there are plenty of pizza ordering ones that will stop you from having dishes! I heard of the other books in the series, but never read them. Any sentence with “muffin” in it makes me laugh …
When you finish with the Mouse who will not be named (or, tamed), you have my email, Nigel.
I have play list I’d like to load on my iPhone 5.
Feel free to pop your iPhone 5 in the post Minnie, and I’ll load that playlist. I should have it back to in time for Christmas – this one or the next.
When I was building my computer training business about a decade ago, I got a smartphone because I needed to be able to access my Outlook calendar and contacts lists while I was on the road. I used the phone, the calendar, and the contacts list, and if I got stuck waiting for somebody, I played a few rounds of Solitaire.
My old phone died, so now I have a newer, smarter, faster one. I spend my days at my desk, but on the rare occasions that I’m out, I still use the smartphone for exactly the same four things. My only concession to progress is that I’ve started texting occasionally, but I always forget to check my texts, so five-day turnaround isn’t unusual for me.
I think the Geek Society is going to revoke my membership.
Diane! The phone, calendar, contacts, and solitaire?
a) Your membership of the geek society is in serious jeopardy. Well, unless you happened to have hacked the Be OS onto your phone, in which case you’re back in (provided you got the journaled filesystem working).
b) Phone? Phone?? Phone??? Who the hell uses their phone to phone people??? Haven’t you heard of SMS, MMS, twitter, IM, email, FB, blogs??? Why would anyone want to talk to someone else these days??? That’s just weird 🙂
I know. I’m such a Luddite. 🙂
I’ve just hidden all the hammers in my house (there’s only two) – just in case you come visiting one day 🙂
I use my smart phone to call and text. Occasionally I read an email, but usually not. I have Googled something a couple of times, but that’s about it, other than the GPS, which does come in handy now and then.
My use of tech stuff is akin to hitching up a horse to pull a new Cadillac.
Like hitching a horse up to a Cadillac? Nay, David, you’re a techno-man, you stepped over the line, crossed into the dark and transistorized world. Yes … you have a blog. There’s no going back now!
This is why my mom doesn’t have a smartphone! Yet. She just got her first computer last summer, and figured she needs to do more with it first. And yes, it’s a lot like “someone else” and their iPhone! “I just want to send an email” “I just want to *forward* email” “I just want to look up medical information…” LOL!
Ha, I went through the same thing with my dad. I took him a mac one year, showed him a few things and he thought that was all he needed. When I got back home I had an email with a list of questions already waiting for me. I, of course, am never like that … Well, almost never 🙂
LOL. I have a mouse almost like yours in my house. The someone here refuses to use an iPhone. This someone still has a flip phone and text? Someone does not even know how to check the voicemail. Ah, well, it took this someone ten years to decided to use a computer — for email only, then it was to google information, then how to open an application – now someone can teach me all kinds of tricks in photoshop and someone has even loaded apps! Alas, the phone may take a lot longer . . . . 🙂 Feeding mice cookies – definitely insidiously dangerous 🙂
LOL, Lynette. I think there must be a mouse in every house!
This is hilarious! And basically explains in depth why I don’t yet have an iPhone. My husband occasionally talks about getting me one (usually only when I steal his to smash bugs – the virtual kind of course), but I know those cookies can be a slippery slope 🙂
You don’t? I really thought you’d be the internet connected, always on kind of person! If you like smashing bugs, don’t every try angry birds or where’s my water or newtons gravity … at least not without plenty of cookies on hand 🙂
I hate to say it but I was this way when I got my first smartphone. I thought, “I’ll just use it for texting, probably, maybe the occasional email.” But then I saw all the game apps, then the camera apps, the weather apps, and the other apps, and I was hooked.
I gave one of my cats a cookie the other day, and that was a bad idea. Mind you, it wasn’t a chocolate cookie—chocolate is poisonous for cats and dogs—but now that she’s had a taste of cookie, she wants more. I’m worried that I won’t be able to eat a cookie ever again without her little googly eyes staring me down.
Ah ha! I see mouse written all over you. Well, apart from the fact your icon’s a cat and you called Madame Weebles. They’re just details.
As for the cat, I just remembered a tale (sorry) about one I used to have. Maybe post it soon.
LOLOL Nigel! That’s the best mouse story I’ve ever heard. But then I don’t get out much. And I, like Marcy, do not have an iPhone yet. My kids have the new iPhone5 and they hate it. The younger one is selling his and he replaced it with a Samsung Note. Claims it is so much better. He also needs it for business too. So while you all are testing out these gadgets, I will sit back and wait until these things are perfected. At least that’s what I tell myself. Stay away from the cookies my friend. 🙂
I love the screen on the big samsung things, but then I feel like I’m holding a television up to my hear when I make a call! I don’t blame you waiting. In the aviation business there is a motto that goes “never fly in the A model of anything”! I think gadgets are the same.
I haven’t read the book you mentioned. But I definitely enjoyed your post. Hope that “someone” doesn’t find out how to read it. 😉
Well, I know someone too, who is a physicist and has taught me many things I know about physics, electricity, mechanics, carpentry, building, anything technical, can install networks etc., but who hates electronics and refuses to learn more than the basics. Not because that someone can’t learn, but just because there is a strong aversion towards electronics. I don’t know why, don’t ask. 🙂
However, that someone wants to use the pc and internet to watch tv series and everytime something awkward happens and I go to fix it, I hear “But why don’t you show me how to do that…” or “You never show me how to fix it…” etc.
Thanks for the laugh Nigel. Keep enhancing the iPhone.
P.S. I don’t have an iPhone and I don’t think I will ever have one. It won’t satisfy me. 😛
Hi Irene. Yes the joy of a new iPhone is a very temporary thing. But as I used to remind my old boss, so is life!
Strange how some people take to technology and others don’t, isn’t it?