Have you been feeling lackluster lately?
Are your friends disowning you because you’re not on a diet?
Did you miss out on the one-for-two never to be repeated Abs-o-glute-imizer offer?
Do you have everyone-else-has-got-one-and-I-haven’t-envy?
Never fear, if you’re a reader of this blog then we can help you!!!
Because we care.
Because our readers have a special place in our hearts.
And we just can’t bare to hear that our readers are left out when talk turns to the latest exercise infomercial.
How can we do this???
Easy. Because we want to offer you the latest in exercise equipment.
This is no passing fad. This is a special offer, that thanks to our massive marketing power, we can offer to you at prices that are truly hard to believe.
For a limited century we can offer you the excessive HUSKYCIZER!!!!
What’s a Huskicizer??? Only the most amazing full body work out equipment on the planet!!! One single HUSKICIZER will give your arms, legs, toes, and quite possibly hair follicles and olympic standard workout.
The results are dramatic! Within days people will comment on your new look (ignore those jealous comments about the black rings around your eyes because your HUSKICIZER wakes you at 5am for a full contact workout).
What can you expect when you purchase the HUSKICIZER???
People have reported a 3000% increase!!! (results not typical).
Test subjects have lost hundreds of pounds and get admiring glances from members of the opposite sex (so they say).
Muscle bulk is explosive! (not verified by anyone sober).
And, of course you get a fully fledged Husky!
Models vary, but the Siberian Husky has been demonstrated to show the fastest results.
Apart from the AMAZING INCREASE in social status that comes with having the latest in exercise gear, what are the benefits of the HUSKICIZER???
We are anticipating an overwhelming demand for this sought after exercise equipment. Be the envy of your friends and get your today. Call now!! This is an often-to-be-repeated offer and operators are standing by.
Oh, for cuteness’ sake!
LOL. Up early this morning? Is your exercise machine taking you for a walkout?
This is stellar satire, Nigel.
Off now to clean coffee spew from my keyboard.
Thanks, Gloria, you’re too kind 🙂 At least I’ll be able to add walking a dog to my repertoire next time we’re on stage!
Fabulous – I’m still laughing! I love the way it folds up for easy storage. But I notice you didn’t elaborate on the flexibility benefits of stooping and scooping… 😉
I was going to mention stooping and scooping, but then I realized it’s just a load of … well, I decided against it 🙂
Hahahaha. Love this, Nigel!! 🙂
Thanks Tiff 🙂