Carpet colors are spiraling out of control. I used to think that the episode of Frasier where he’s having his carpet replaced, was pretty funny. He’s discussing the color, Harvest Wheat, with his brother. This is a new color, he says, which has been discovered between Almond and Buff. So, they decide the range of (expensively bland) colors goes: Putty, Oatmeal, Almond, Harvest Wheat, and Buff, and they recite these names like every schoolchild should know them.
Anyway, we’ve been shopping for carpet, and as much as Frasier’s string of colors sound funny, real life has got Crane brothers beat. Especially in Home Depot. Obviously, being in the south, they have colors such as Horsepower, Brickyard, Qualifier, and Turbo Boost. I mean, who wouldn’t want Turbo Boost on their floor?
But they’ve got Texas urbanites covered as well. There’s Conference Call, Self Starter, and Value Added. Then there’s Team Player, Benchmark, Action Item, Key Driver, Critical Path, Cost Cutter, Cross Functional Leader, and (one of my favorites) Mission Critical Visionary. There’s also Big Picture, if you’re one of those sort of guy’s.
Makes Friaser Crane’s Harvest Wheat look pretty normal, doesn’t it?
Seen any good color names lately? And do you think you could live with the knowledge that you carpeted your house with Cross Functional Leader?
I think I would have to chew my own wrists open if I bought a carpet called “Mission Critical Visionary”. But I’ll take Horsepower any day! Turbo Boost doesn’t do it for me – I like a bit more muscle, though I guess they didn’t dare name one of their carpets “Blower”…
Yes, Bentley Blower was conspicuous by its absence, too!
My favorite color name was from a 1960 Oldsmobile Starfire my mother had: Candy-Apple Red.
Every car looks better in red!
I was giggling the other day over accent colours for our new windows. Not so much the multiple shades of white, but that DH and I were actually contemplating the pros and cons of Standard White vs Alabaster vs Pearl vs Linen vs Olympus. After about 30 minutes we will never get back, we decided on Standard. LOL
I feel your pain. Shades of white discussions are doomed to failure. I go for the safe off-white, which encompasses anything the other person likes 🙂